Adams's 20th Law of Social Dynamics

"Doing the 'right thing' is not always the right thing to do."

Adams's 19th Law of Social Dynamics

"Just because you have an opinion does not mean that you must share it."

Adams's 18th Law of Social Dynamics

"Adulthood is gray. Nothing is absolute, pure 'evil,' or objectively 'good.'"

Adams's 2nd Law of Fashion

"There is a strong positive correlation between the number of persons in one's immediate vicinity, and one's desire to wear pants." 

Adams's 3rd Law of Productivity

"If you wait for everyone else, it will never get done."

Adams's 17th Law of Social Dynamics

"Beware of anyone who is certain about anything."

Adams's 16th Law of Social Dynamics

"Great people do not need convince others of their greatness. It is self-evident."

Adams's 15th Law of Social Dynamics

"Never ask an old person how they are doing." (It's never good.)

Adams's 2nd Law of Productivity

"Discomfort is a side effect of ambition."

Grady's Law

"Desperation is a stinky cologne."

Adams's 14th Law of Social Dynamics

"In the world of online dating, if a woman posts a group photo and does not identify herself in the image, she is by default the least attractive woman in the photo."

Adams's 13th Law of Social Dynamics

"If someone waves you forward in traffic, GO, and go immediately. Do not counter-wave. Do dot hesitate."

Adams's 4th Law of Technology

"If you leave a voicemail for someone, provide a callback number."

1st Corollary: "Never leave a message that has no actual purpose (unless it's a prank)." "It's me calling, call me back" is not an acceptable voicemail.

Rohn's Law

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” -Jim Rohn

Flaubert's Law

"Be regular and orderly in your life... so that you may be violent and original in your work." -Gustave Flaubert

Adams's 12th Law of Social Dynamics

"Walk on the same side of the walkway that you would drive if it were a roadway." 

Ex: Americans stay to the right, British stay to the left

Adams's 1st Law of Fashion

"Pants become dirty at a minimum rate of 1/14th the rate of other clothing."

Draper's Law

"Just think about it deeply, then forget it…then an idea will jump up in your face." -Don Draper ("Mad Men")

Adams's 11th Law of Social Dynamics

"'Common sense' is a myth. All knowledge was at some point acquired through failure, or education. There is no shared library of human intuition."

Adams's 10th Law of Social Dynamics

"Always ask the person if they have seen the show/read the book/seen the movie before you reveal any plot point, no matter how insignificant."

Adams's 3rd Law of Technology

"Thanks to the Internet, I can no longer say 'I don't know.' I can only say 'I don't know yet.'"

Adams's 9th Law of Social Dynamics

"Behind every great person's brilliant idea is a mountain of total crap ideas that didn't make the cut. Behind that mountain is another equally large mound of disquieting facts about their life that they would never want their followers to discover." 

See: Ghandi, Mohandas; Teresa, Mother; Edison, Thomas

Adams's 8th Law of Social Dynamics

"Be careful what you hate, for it may one day be what you love."

Adams's 7th Law of Social Dynamics

"If you believe that you understand women, you have by definition failed to understand women."

Adams's 1st Law of Inverse Marketing

"The worse the movie, the greater the marketing campaign."

Adams's 5th Law of Social Dynamics

"Never make fun of someone for something they can't change."

Adams's 4th Law of Social Dynamics

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle." -author unknown

Adams's 1st Law of 'Authantic' Cuisine

"If there are no spelling errors on the menu, then it is not an authentic foreign restaurant."

Adams's 1st Law of Productivity

"Productivity and laziness are two strains of the same virus. They are both self-replicating, and both highly contagious."

Adams's 3rd Law of Social Dynamics

"Never depend on the opinion of someone whose salary depends on you."

In the words of Warren Buffet, "Don’t ask the barber whether you need a haircut."

Adams's 2nd Law of Finance

"Never buy anything from Ikea that depends on moving parts."

(Also known as the "particle board principle.")

Adams's 2nd Law of Social Dynamics

"When you're in love with a married man, you shouldn't wear mascara." - Fran Kubelik ("The Apartment")

Adams's 1st Law of Social Dynamics

"He who rocks the boat should not be surprised when he is the first to be thrown overboard." 

Ebert's Law

"The Muse visits during the act of creation, not before. Don't wait for her. Start alone." -Roger Ebert

Adams's 1st Law of Finance

"If you have to ask the price, you can't afford it." -J.P. Morgan(?)

Lemon's Law

"Never go with a hippie to a second location." -Jack Donaghy (30 Rock)

The Dr. Phil Principle

"Fat people give the best dieting advice."

Adams's 1st Law of Grammar Dynamics

"If you fail to hyphenate 'detail-oriented' on your CV, then you are, in fact, not detail-oriented."

Adams's 2nd Law of Technology

"Software is much more likely to fail if you are demoing said software for a client."

Adams's 6th Law of Social Dynamics

"The earlier you tell me to meet you somewhere, the more pissed I'm gonna get when you're late."

(Also known as "1st Law of Inverse Appointments.")

Adams's 1st Law of Technology

"If you are the kind of Mac owner who believes that 'Macs don't get viruses,' then you are the kind of Mac owner who is much more likely to get a virus on your Mac."